Belated Valentine's Day

Valentine’s Day passed by and I forgot to write a message. The reason is that I’m still waiting for a Valentine’s present from Machi that got somehow stuck in the post process between Japan and Germany.  Hopefully it is going to arrive tomorrow.

I wouldn’t mention that day probably here in the blog if I wouldn’t have listed to the radio at that day. They talked on MDR-Figaro about a new movie that is nominated for a golden bear in Berlin. This movie is about the last months of a boy who was executed by the Nazis in Paris at the 22^nd of October 1941. His name is Guy Moquet. I’ve never heard of him before, but what they told me in the radio rather moved my heart. The 17 year old boy, and everyone else who was going to get execute with him, was “allowed” to write a farewell letter to their parents and beloved ones. A final letter; your final words to the ones who will miss you - who you love so much. I still haven’t read the letter of the boy, which still exists. But, I was sitting in the kitchen of my father on the wooden table and tried to imagine what this boy must have felt while he was writing his last lines. I couldn’t, because I sit here sound and save, in a peaceful Germany. How could anyone be able to imagine this who was never in a situation like that. I tried anyway – tried to imagine what I would write in my last letter.

Since a while, I think, do I appreciate so called “simple” things in life and yet do many people miss them (out). A smile from someone you like, the presence of beloved friends and family, a cup of tea, and a piece of bread with butter. My friend Phoebe gave me this lovely book of “Tuesdays with Morrie”, which was really moving. But I got side-tracked.

I think, I would deeply thank both of my parents who sacrificed so much to raise me. I hope that I can give it one day back to you in one way or another.  Thank you to my beloved siblings who challenged me a lot and helped me to become what I am. I’m often worried about the two little ones and hope that they will find their way and gain the courage to break new grounds. My love, Machi, who is always there for me and with me in my heart.  Soon it will be two years and yet it feels like we know each other for much longer. I do love you so much!

My friends, who I can’t list hear all, because I fear that I may miss one. We had so many amazing moments together and in dark times I remember them quite often to cheer myself up. You guys are all very special to me and I hope that we will meet often, even though we all take different ways in life from now on and will live in different corners of this world.

My letter would also contain a huge thank you to anyone who helped me in my life: all those farmers who cropped the corn for the bread I ate; raised the cow, whose milked I drank, and everyone on this huge globe who supported me in one way or another. People think now days that they are independent, and yet they are not. Our all existence depends on each other, not only on the people in your state, or nation, or continent; no, everybody everywhere depends on each other.  

In that way: happy belated Valentine’s day my loves!

Your Ray

Pre-Valentines day

From today 67 years ago Dresden was bombed by British and American bombers. Every year  anti-Semitic groups try to use this day for their propaganda and citizen of Dresden and elsewhere from Germany try to stop them, try to contemplate about the victims of the bombing in Dresden, Germany, and all over the world with the hope that this globe will become peaceful one day.

Also today the citizen came together and formed a human chain around the inner city of Dresden to signal that neo-Nazis are not welcome in this city. I realised today that I haven't seen neo-Nazis demonstrating within the inner city for at least three years and today they were again forced to march around the city centre. When I took the tram number 1 from Dobritz I was astonished by the sheer number of people in the tram. I was even more astonished when I realised that they were actually Nazis from West Germany who came by Bus to Dresden. Last year some of them couldn't demonstrate because people from all over Germany blocked their way from the train stations. This was subject to some discussion prior to the event today, whether civil disobedience against Nazis is "good" or "bad". However, even though there was a lot of police in the city today, with tear gas and horses did no huge riots occur. It was quite, and the Nazis who were allowed to demonstrate until 11 p.m. went home at 8 p.m. and the counter protesters looked satisfied for this year. Hopefully, the city council will ban the Nazi demonstrations in Dresden in the next year!  

Students protest against Nazis in Dresden/Altmarkt.

On the way to Budapester Str., to block the coming Nazis.

Blockage close to the Budapest Str. in Dresden.

A while ago

I deeply apologise for my late reply. Somehow I was mostly too tiered to write in the evening or when I could find the power to do something then I was working on my thesis. This thing is now finally submitted; to Germany and Australia. I don't know what it is going to become and how they will mark me, but I have to admit that I somehow don't really care any more. How comes? One reason may possible be that I already have something to look forward to: a job in Japan (my CoE is on the way) and Machi waiting for me in Osaka. Just a pass would be enough, though.

Anyway, my brother came home yesterday. He arrived in Germany last Monday from Afghanistan. We were all pretty much relieved to hear that he came back healthy. Mentally as well as physically. He came yesterday to my mothers house and for him and me was it almost a year since we have seen each other for the last time. We probably have to get use to it - after I'll have left. He also brought his new little dog with him. It's a Mops-Beagle mix and my sister fell in love with him.

About the aim

Lately I’m thinking a lot about the aims we have in front of us, our physical or mental eye. Before I left Japan, my first Kyudo sensei, Tsuzui-sensei, from Tokoyama Dojo gave me a couple of advices. One was, that I shouldn’t mind whether I hit the target or not. I should only concentrate on the technique, on what I’m doing and if this is right, I will hit the target anyway. In other words, I should mind the way, not the target.

As it is with words sometimes, you forget them and you remember them. Some other time. Besides the times, when I was back in Dresden, I heard the words of my German teacher first and remembered finally the words of the old teacher from Japan. I think they came back to me, because I was missing a teacher for Kyudo in Australia and my mind was trying to educate itself by remembering things it once had learned.

It’s a strange thing with the aim. I keep records of my hits and misses, which doesn’t make it easier for me. Even though I try not to think about the aim I will count hits and misses in my head: one hit, one hit one miss, one hit two misses – I have to hit now – and there it is again. The thinking about the aim and the forgetting about the way. It’s with so many things in life: we forget to remember other things on our way to our goal, our personal targets, things we want to achieve. Since we don’t care the way we walk, we miss a big opportunity: every single path we step on is a trail, is time, we can use to complete our self; master our self. The aim is nothing. You can not even fix it in time. It is not before you have not released the arrow and it is gone as soon as it has hit the target. A tiny moment, gone and you have to go on. Next arrow, and forget about the last one. Sometimes you can’t forget it and you live in the past, forgetting the present. If you only mind the aim, you will only walk from tiny moments to tiny moments, but if you concentrate on your way, our aim becomes every moment, and every moment you might become better in it. Mistakes will help you a lot. And the time might come, that I don’t need to think about the aim any more, that I will just go the right way, always hitting.

remembering: Tokuyama Dojo. Photo taken by Charlie Chayatan.

My last days in Australia

2012-01-01

 

I’m terrible sorry that I update my blog about my last days with Machi in Australia so late, but as everyone can possibly imagine were my first days in Germany, Christmas, and New Years Eve pretty busy.

After I returned from Canberra I just tried to finish my studies for my diploma thesis as much as possible and at the same time enjoyed more and more the time with my friends, who are mostly exchange students as well. I barely missed a coffee brake but at the same time pushed my self at night in front of the computer to get some results. Which I luckily did.

Machi came over 10 days before I was supposed to fly to Canberra, in the last week of November. I was so happy that she was there: she helped me a lot. She even came over to Uni for lunch and brought self cooked food for both of us. Yes, I didn’t want to miss 2 weeks Uni, since I definitely didn’t want to do anything in my time in Canberra, so I decided to go to Uni at least 4-5 hours a day. Most evenings we met friends for farewell dinners. Serge, Javi, Suhel and Dexter for a BBQ; Helen, Alan and Co. for a lovely dinner, and Baden with Steph, a last weekend in the Adelaide Hills with a beautiful reunion with Freiya, who just came from the Philippines, moon light cinema with Natasha and Chris – there were not enough evenings to say goodbye to everyone and the day came, the 5^th of December, when I left for the last time my apartment with Machi and check in at the Airport in Adelaide. 

Byebye in the Adeliade Hills

What we just did in Adelaide repeated itself in Canberra, when we said goodbye to Machis and my friends there: Ally and Rob, Andrew and Sue, Kara and Benn, and many more. We had a tearful goodbye with Machis flatmate Tairyn on the day when we moved out of Machis apartment and took a bus to Sydney, at the 9^th of December. 

Farewell "coffee" with Dao and Tairyn

We checked in a hostel in Kings Cross, Sydney, right at the train station. Our room was above the subway gangway and when we left the room we could watch people walking from or to the trains. I think it is normal that you don’t go for to many new things on your last 2 days when a 3 month goodbye faces you; though we had a big walk on the first day around the opera and Harbour Bridge and completed our souvenir shopping. Something new we didn’t discover on your first trip to Sydney was Bondi beach, where we went on our last day. Unfortunately did Machi lose her camera, or more precise – I did, since I was carrying the bag and I felt terrible. The waves were strong on that day and we gave up searching after while since I was probably walking in the ocean when I lost it. Machi was brave and forgot soon about it. We had an amazing dinner in a Thai restaurant in Kings Cross and went to bed early, since we wanted to wake up at 3 o’clock in the morning.

Sydney - Harbour

 

The rest of the story you know – and what is left to do would be a reflection of my 9 month stay in South Australia. It still works in me and I think I took a lot with me to Germany: more of ‘don’t care about what other think’, more ‘milk tea’, more ‘enjoy’; shortly: more Australian lifestyle and this is something I really mean in a positive way and I feel more and more every day I live in Germany.

I think I might change the Blog – I want to concentrate more on smaller things in my daily life and might report about those. Till March about Germany, from April about Japan again, since my flight is booked for the 20^th of March. I can’t wait to meet Machi again. I just need to get done with Uni here.

Back in Winter / Zurück im Winter

my dear friends,

I made it back to Germany and I only didn't inform you here on my blog because I already lag keeping up with my posts: I hope that I can write a short article about what happend in my last month in Australia and on my way back to Germany. 

So far I want to wish everyone of you a wonderful Christmas festival. I hope that no matter if you believe in it or not, that you can spend some peaceful days with your family or friends.

(^.^)/ your Ray

Melrose, a bath underneath the stars / Melrose, ein Bad unter den Sternen

2011-11-19

I was just two weeks back in Adelaide when I already felt stressed and threaten from my thesis. Things were not going well and I just had too many parameters to change but not much to compare with – in fact: an under-determined equation system. But to tell things before hand, it’s much better now and I don’t care any more about it. I think that I just put to much expectation on myself. The fact that I got a better mark than expected on my first project encouraged me as well. But it is not like I’m lazy now. I’m still in Uni from 8 a.m. to 6 p.m. and then again from 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. but in the evening I mostly do my own personal things.

However, so I was stressed and I decided to run away from Mawson Lakes, with a message to Sue, Freiyas mum. She told me that they will not be in Summertown over the weekend but that they want to go to Melrose and asked me if I not want to go with them. How wonderful, I thought. That is exactly what I need: two days in a really lonely place, with no computer, mobile (because I don’t have a reception there) or what ever. The only electricity I took with me was my single-LED head lamp. Kim and Sue picked me up on Saturday morning. We took our bikes with us and drove three and a half hours to Melrose. This time Freiya and Loki came not with us, because Freiya is still in Philippines with Phoebe and Loki has to write exams. Claire, David and Sue (David’s wife) drove already to Melrose on Friday night.

We had a lovely lunch with bread, crackers, a grilled chicken, marmalade, different cheese, fruits, a fruit cake Claire made, different dips, olives, and and and. We decided to take the bikes and try to reach the next town. Claire didn’t want to come with us and rather wanted to read her book. The track was stony but most of the time quite good. It was not too hot for this time of the year I guess – mild, but still summerish for a German. So I still need to wait till I can experience the big South Australian heat and dryness. But instead of the heat, I got the chance to catch up with something that I haven’t had yet and also didn’t miss much: flies. Every one of us had a family of about 10-40 individuals on their backs. Or face. I had at least three around my head. It’s amazingly annoying if you want to enjoy the ride and something tries to enter your left ear and right nostril.   

just after we met the snake

We didn’t make it to the next town; it was quite to far away. So we turned, saw a fat black snake slithering away from the path and arrived at five in your little cottage. I picked up a geocache on the way. We wanted to meet Kim and Sues friends in the restaurant at 7 p.m. and I used the time to read a book I got from Sue. The book was from Phoebe, who gave it to Freiya, who gave it to her mum when she met her in Brisbane in early October. A true story, an interview, about an old Professor in the nineties who was going to die from ALS: “Tuesdays with Morrie”.  It made me really happy that I got a book from my very good friend from an island I have never been; but I will go there, for sure!

The dinner in the village was very good: I choose a vegetarian pizza, Kim pasta, Claire pizza as well and the rest of us different dishes – I can’t remember what exactly! We went back around 9-10ish and heated the bath tube: The bathtub is a tub next to the garden hose. In order to get a warm bath you need to lit 2 gas cooker underneath it and fill it with water from the hose. Then step and sit on the shale plate in the tube and enjoy your bath. While the other went into the bath I took my camera and wanted to get some last pictures of the amazing Outback-star sky. I’ve already taken some pictures of the field during sunset and have chosen a spot where to take the pictures. The moon was out this night and the stars were less bright then when I was here the last time. 

Melrose, befrore sunset

When I came back to the cottage only Kim and I haven’t been in the tub so I took my flash light and went there. I could smell the gas while I carefully walked over the earthy ground, hang my head light on the bast fence, got naked and stepped into the steaming hot water. The night air was cool and I felt like being in an Onsen: I could hear the rustling of the trees, the night birds cry and when I looked toward the sky I could see thousands of stars greeted by the vapor rising from the tub.

Night sky, short exposure

We drove back, after a morning coffee with friends of Sue and Kim who brought little kitten, and stopped for a short ride on the bikes and lunch. We rode the bikes to a “king tree”: a 400 year old Eucalyptus tree. On our way back we stopped only for a coffee, since everyone became tired. I was reading Phoebes book, while the sun was slowly setting and realized later at home that I have forgotten about my thesis during the last two days.

book from Phoebe and little Kitten

Es verging gerade mal zwei Wochen seit Canberra, als ich mich schon gestresst und von meiner Diplomarbeit verfolgt fühlte. Die Dinge liefen nicht so gut und ich hatte einfach zu viele Parameter an denen ich drehen konnte und einfach zu Wenig womit ich vergleichen durfte – kurz gesagt: ein unterbestimmtes Gleichungssystem. Aber um Dinge vorweg zunehmen: Es läuft jetzt schon viel besser und es kümmert mich auch nicht mehr so sehr. Ich glaube, dass ich einfach zu viel Eigenerwartung auf mich gelegt hatte. Der Umstand, dass ich auf mein erstes Projekt eine bessere Note bekommen habe als ich erwartet hatte motivierte mich zusätzlich. Aber es nicht so, dass ich jetzt faul bin. Ich bin noch immer täglich in der Uni von 8 Uhr morgens bis 6 Uhr am Abend und dann wieder von 8 bis 11 Uhr, obwohl ich zu dieser Zeit meistens meinen privaten Sachen nachgehe.

Wie auch immer, ich war also gestresst und wollte ein bisschen aus Mawson Lakes weglaufen. Ich schrieb Sue, Freiyas Mama, eine Nachricht und sie schrieb mir zurück, dass sie an diesem Wochenende nicht in Summertown sein werden jedoch nach Melrose fahren wollen und sie fragte mich ob ich nicht mitkommen wöllte. Das war perfekt, dachte ich mir! Das war genau das was ich brauchte: zwei Tage an einem einsamen Ort, ohne Computer oder Handy (weil ich da sowieso keinen Empfang habe). Das einzige elektronische Gerät, das ich mitnahm, war meine EinzelLED-Stirnlampe. Kim und Sue holten mich am Samtstag Morgen ab. Wir nahmen unsere Fahrräder mit und fuhren die dreieinhalb Stunden nach Melrose. Dieses mal waren Freiya und Loki nicht mit uns, weil Freiya noch immer in den Philippinen mit Phoebe ist und Loki Klausuren schreiben muss. Claire, David und Sue (Davids Frau) sind bereits am Freitag Abend nach Melrose gefahren.

Wir nahmen ein wundervolles Mittag zu uns, das aus Brot, Crackern, einem gegrillten Hähnchen, Marmelade, verschiedenem Käse, Früchten, einem von Claire gebackenem Fruchtkuchen, unterschiedliche Dipps, Oliven und und und bestand. Es wurde entschieden, dass wir unsere Fahrräder nahmen und versuchen würden damit bis zur nächsten Stadt zu radeln. Clair wollte nicht mitkommen, sondern lieber in der kleinen Hütte bleiben und lesen. Der Fahrradweg war steinig aber ansonsten ganz gut. Ich nehme an, dass es nicht wirklich heiß für diese Jahreszeit war – mild, aber immer noch sommerlich für einen Deutschen. Also würde ich noch weiter auf die mir angedrohte South Australian Hitze und Trockenheit warten dürfen. Aber anstelle der Hitze bekam ich die Chance etwas ganz anderes zu erfahren, etwas von dem ich vorher noch nicht einmal wusste, dass ich es vermissen (im Sinne von verpassen) könnte: Fliegen. Jeder von uns hatte eine kleine Familie, die aus ca. 10-40 Individuen bestand, auf seinem Rücken sitzen. Oder im Gesicht. Ich hatte wenigstens drei um meinem Kopf herum. Es ist wirklich erstaunlich nervig wenn du eine Tour genießen willst die aber ständig irgendetwas versucht ins linke Ohr oder rechte Nasenloch zukriechen. 

Kim auf seinem Fahrrad

 Wir haben es nicht bis in die nächste Stadt geschafft, sondern gaben auf, weil es schon spät wurde. Also drehten wir um, trafen eine fette schwarze Schlange die vor uns wegschlängelte und erreichten gegen fünf Uhr unsere Unterkunft. Ich hab noch einen Geocache auf dem Weg eingesammelt. Wir wollten gegen sieben Uhr Freunde von Kim und Sue im Dorfrestaurant treffen. Ich nutzte die Zeit, um ein paar Photo zu schießen und mit dem Buch anzufangen, das Sue mir am Nachmittag gegeben hatte. Das Buch war von Phoebe, die es Freiya gab, die es ihrer Mutti habe, als sich beide in Brisbane Anfang Oktober getroffen haben. Es ist eine wahre Geschichte - ein Interview -  über einen alten Professor in den Neunzigern, der auf dem Weg ins Grab war durch seine ALS Krankheit: „Dienstags mit Morrie“. Es hat mich wirklich glücklich gemacht und überrascht ein Buch von einer sehr guten Freundin von einer Insel zu bekommen auf der ich noch nicht gewesen bin, aber auf jeden Fall bald gehen werde. 

unsere kleine Hütte

Das Abendbrot im Dorf war wirklich ausgezeichnet: Ich entschied mich für eine vegetarische Pizza, Kim für Pasta, Claire nahm auch Pizza und der Rest von uns andere Gerichte – ich kann mich nur nicht mehr genau daran erinnern! Wir kamen zurück zum Haus gegen 9 oder 10 und heizten die Badewanne an: Die Badewanne ist eine Wanne gleich neben dem Gartenschlauch. Wenn man das Wasser warm haben möchte, lässt man Wasser aus dem Gartenschlauch in die Wanne und platziert zwei köchelnde Gaskoch unter der Wanne. Danach schreitest du in die Wanne und setzt dich auf eine Schiefersteinplatte darin. Während die Anderen ein Bad nahmen griff ich zu meiner Kamera und wollte ein paar letzte Bilder von diesem phantastischen Outback-Nachthimmel aufnehmen den ich hier einst sah. Der Mond schien diese Nacht und die Sterne waren deshalb weniger strahlend als beim letzten mal.

Als ich zurück zur Hütte kam waren nur noch Kim und ich als Badeanwärter übrig. Also nahm ich meine Stirnlampe und lief zur Wanne. Der Geruch von Gas stieg in meine Nase, während ich vorsichtig über den erdigen Untergrund lief, meine Stirnlampe an den Bastmattenzaun hing, mich auszog und in die dampfende Wanne stieg. Ich fühlte mich sofort wie in einem Onsen: die Bäume raschelten, die Nachtvögel schrien und wenn ich zum Himmel schaute konnte ich tausend Sterne sehen die von dem aufsteigendem Dampf der Wanne gegrüßt wurden.

Blick von der Wanne - naja, nicht ganz :P

 

Nach einem Morgenkaffee mit den Freunden von Sue und Kim, die kleine Miezekatzen mitbrachten, fuhren wir ab und hielten in einem Wald für Mittag und eine letzte kleine Bike tour. Wir fuhren zu einem nahem „Königsbaum“: ein ca. 400 Jahre alter Eukalyptusbaum. Noch einmal hielten wir auf unserem Weg zurück nach Adelaide, für einen Kaffee. Ich las Phoebes Buch, während die Sonne langsam zum Abendgruß wunk und ich später zu Hause bemerkte, dass ich schon zwei Tage lang nicht mehr über meine Diplomarbeit nachgedacht hatte.